another moral hangover. fuck.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
