woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
