I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
