I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize