Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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