Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
