but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
