Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
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She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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