Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
