So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize