; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize