yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
