Dual....:-)
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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