The maid of honor just puked.
"it" just moved
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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