worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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