He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
jump out the window naked night went bad
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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