What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
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Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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