there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
