I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
