She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
