I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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