is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
