I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
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The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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