You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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