Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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