I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
