Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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