im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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