i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
