so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize