The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
