brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
