Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
im holly from the hills drunk
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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