I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
