If i come over, it means nothing
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
please come you make the beer taste better
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
