Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
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she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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