these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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