Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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