and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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