you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
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He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
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He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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