He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize