That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
