belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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