How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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