I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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