I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize