I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
