u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
