I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
