Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
