How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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