So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
