Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize