My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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