I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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