Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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