Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
