We are two peas in an std pod
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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